Inspiration is Irving Olson.

Irving Olson holding his painting

He is the first amateur photographer to have a one person show at Grand Central Station in New York City. To say that Irving’s photos are stunning, is simply an understatement. Two dancing water droplets speak mountains about chaotic beauty.

However, while Olson’s work is inspired, it is his life that is inspirational.

Already retired for nearly 30 years, at the age of 79, Olson bought himself a digital camera for the first time and started to experiment with it. He had always loved photography (he took his first photo at 9 years old in 1922 on an Eastman Kodak Brownie!). But, everything came together for him at 97 when he started to take photos of two water droplets colliding.

This centennial, Olson passed at age 102 in 2016, taught himself something new and became a master.

Irving Olson is an inspiration to me. He reminded me to not be scared at any age.

Because when I was 43 years old, mother of a 10, 7, and 4 year old, I was scared of technology. Moms who knew about my career in video games would often ask me about recommendations for educational games. Moms who I led in my church’s family ministry would ask me for advice about how to limit screentime. I was a “techie mom”, after all…

However as a technie mom, it felt like I was barely treading water and swells were swallowing me whole. I felt like I would never be able to stay on top of everything I needed to know to protect my children. And the fact that my kids knew something more naturally and clearly than me really freaked me out.

For goodness sakes! I taught my kids how to walk and talk, clearly I should be able to handle technology, right?

Wrong! Even the smartest technical people in the world struggle as parents about how to manage this new thing. And while the press loves to focus on how Bill Gates doesn’t let his kids have a cellphone, let me tell you the rest of us are having a hard time.

So now when fellow mommas come to me for help because they can’t figure out the new technologies and apps that their kids are obsessed with, I throw up my hands and say, “Me neither!” Then I hold their hand and say, “Let’s figure it out together, because it is never too late to learn something new!”

In my hand-holding and self-reflection, here are a few tips to get you going on how to be a techie mom:

1. Drop the I’m “just not technical bullshit”

I want to be very up front here… And I’m talking to you mommas, mostly.

I’m not sure if it is because of some arcane Barbie mythology, but we need to drop the narrative that the technology is too difficult to parent around. This kind of talk is very dangerous. It sends a message to our kids, that this is an area that mom can’t understand. So kid, I can’t understand you.

Yes, I agree, the proliferation of apps, entertainment, and tools is overwhelming. There seems to be a new social media platform replacing the old every year (move over TikTok, here comes Lomotif). But, technology, just like fashion, is supposed to have this ephemeral quality where users vote on what is IN or OUT.

So you liked plaid last year, but this year you are into neon? Ok… I understand.

2. Call in the “experts”

No, I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about your kids.

The obvious truth about these new games, apps, and tech is that it does NOT take an expert to understand them. They were made to be easy to pickup and hard to put down. So, if your kid is really into a game, app, or social media platform, the first person you need to consult in understanding that thing is your own kid.

Stuart Dredge in his Medium article talks about how “actively engaging in exploring digital worlds together” made him realize that he was “treating (his) children’s screen time as time when (he) could get other stuff done (like cooking dinner, unloading the washing machine, or working).” I have realised the same because dinner at my house always seemed to begin with a wallop of threats of taking away one’s iPad.

As you are learning this new thing, talk to your kid about what he hopes to accomplish WITH this new thing. After you listen to his ideas about becoming a millionaire in pro-gaming, commend him on his audacious plans and talk about how he can work towards those goals and keep to his commitments of school, family, and community. (Because we all work together, right?)

With the help of our Facebook Group, continue on your expert path by working with your in-house little expert to craft a plan to make positive screentime habits for the whole family.

3. Know that IRL means, “In Real Life”

Yassss…. I’ve talked about it before, and I’ll keep talking about it!

No matter what the tech trend might be of the times, it is the connections that we build IRL that will ultimately be the foundation of your child’s character and your relationship with him. IRL is family time.

It’s true, technology can displace valuable face-to-face interaction. That is why the American Academy of Pediatrics starts with the IRL when helping your family put together Media Plans. Explore this wonderful tool on their website. The AAP even confirms that “media can enhance daily life” if integrated “more thoughtfully & appropriately.”

So, can we embrace our fears to become a techie mom together? I count many many years until I am 79, and I have a feeling that this technology is not going away.

Inspiration comes in many forms… Irving Olson, my kids, my fellow momma sisters… Let’s tackle this together!