Halim is one of those moms who researches the heck out of things. Her decisions are informed and balanced. If you want a shortcut to the best path, just ask Halim.
However, when it came to screentime she was just as confused as the rest of us. Halim took the Screentime Serenity course because she wanted answers to help guide her kids, and what she found was some self-reflection about being a mom. I’m so blessed to have Halim as a friend, not only for her wisdom but because of her humility. See how honest she is about this path to parenting? It’s refreshing and so so honest.
Read more about her outlook and singularly standout momma making path. You will be so glad I knew her for you!
— Arcadia Kim, Founder of Infinite Screentime
“You guys suck!” were the last words to my kids at 8:30 pm tonight as I walked away from the Skittles science experiment that went wrong, thanks to my kids. Yeah, I agree, I am a “mean” mom. But I had just had it! It was one of those days. We had an amazing time hiking, bouldering and wading through a fascinating landscape over the weekend.
Then bam, today, Monday, was one of those days. There’s no such thing as TGIM, and there’s a reason why! I again got changed into my workout clothes in the morning in a feeble attempt at a quick workout, but that did not go as planned. It’s Professional Day which means no school which means no “me” time. I’m sure that the teachers are having a productive and fruitful day learning how to teach our kids better, but it’s not a fun day off for parents who have been homeschooling the kids for the past 6 months in HK.
Many of us have come to resort to screentime for a dose of sanity. There’s a lot of debate on Hong Kong Moms FB group about whether over one hour or any period of screentime is appropriate. That mom who posted it.. I gotta give it to her. The fact that she is even debating it tells me that she has a guilty conscience about letting her kids have any screen time. I guess when they are younger, like 2, 5, or even 6 or 7 it’s a valid concern. I mean, it’s a valid concern for any parents, but when I’ve been home with the kids for over 6 months, I don’t care how I get my sanity as long as they don’t kill each other and themselves. Minecraft and Roblox were a NO-NO in my household. That changed about a year ago. Fortnite? It’s ok as long as you get some social time with his buddies, and you are learning. And oh, why don’t do play hard and well so you can maybe even win a tournament with a million-dollar reward! My boy entered a global competition and was killed off after 10 minutes. We told our very upset crying boy, “Lesson learned buddy, gotta work hard and long to win these competitions. You are playing against the premiere league of Fortniters!”
How the world has changed for our household screentime rule in one year, especially after Covid. Now that there is no more sports and weekend tournaments, we often fill our time with card games, family game nights, movies, and plenty of screentime for all of us. My hubby even invested in a VR (Virtual Reality Game) which he plays at least 2 hours every night. He calls it his “me” time. During stressful times for everyone, I have let myself be more accepting of everyone’s screentime rights.
My 14 daughter is on a group video call everyday after school. They are socializing, but they are also working on their homework! There is no more hogging the one fixed phone line with call waiting. Do you remember those days? It’s a fascinating new way of learning for these kids in groups who help each other and share each other’s ideas. They have their own world in which they support each other, giggle, talk about boys…I’m guessing because I am never invited to be part of their chats. Apparently, one cool mom is sometimes invited to their chats, but I did not make the cool mom cut.
Screentime is part of their world. In fact, it’s most of it when they want to socialize in or out of their homes. Even when my 9 yo friends come over for a playdate, it’s assumed that they will play Wii, VR, or some sort of video games together. It’s here to stay and it’s better to accept it, and talk about what and why they are playing rather than denying that it’s the new norm.
My screentime guru friend, Arcadia Kim has graciously helped me shape my opinion through her sound guidance and through her Infinite Screentime class, https://infinitescreentime.com! I highly recommend it to anyone struggling with screentime boundaries for their kids!
Tonight, in an effort to avert the kids’ attention from the screen, I finally took out the hidden coveted skittles and conducted the colorful experiment. I still had to use screentime to figure out how to do the experiment. You see what I mean by the necessity of screentime?
The experiment was going well until my monster candy addicts decided to ruin the experiment by blowing on it, and ruining the intricate artwork into mushy gross grey mud. Then they decided to eat each piece of Skittles! It’s not like I deprive them of sweets, How gross is that! I had to run out of the living room shouting “You guys suck!”
They are probably on their screen right now while I am relishing my alone time writing this blog. After a few “disagreements” and disrespectful behaviors exhibited by my kids recently, I have warned them that I am seriously considering going back to quarantine. This time it will be self imposed, voluntary. When I asked my 9 yo if I should go back to quarantine, he shook his head. I love my kids, but I love my alone time too. And Screentime allows my kids and me to have peace when we need it the most.