“I Think I Might Have an Instagram Problem”
After a tough morning of getting the kid to school, jumping off client calls, and managing the chaos of lunchtime, I finally sit down with my afternoon pick-me-up coffee. I need a break. I open Instagram, hoping to find something inspiring—a new protein snack recipe, a workout idea (ugh, gotta get to the gym!), maybe even a parenting hack.
But before I know it, I’ve gone down a rabbit hole. My 15-minute screen timer pings, reminding me I should stop. I dismiss it. Just a few more minutes.
I scroll past travel photos, home organization tips, and then my guilty pleasure—chubby baby videos. My feed is full of them. It’s oddly comforting… I think it because it harkens back to a simpler (albeit more sleep deprived) time of parenting… and I can’t stop watching.
Then I glance at the clock. An entire hour has passed.
The first moment I witness the wiggle-puffs, jellybean jowels, squishmallow cheeks, I feel great. That temporary dopamine hit is real. But then, guilt creeps in. What just happened?
If I—a grown adult who knows better—can’t resist the pull of mindless scrolling, how can I expect my kids to?
What Does the Science Say?
Screentime addiction is a hot topic. We’ve all heard warnings: Screens hijack our brains! Dopamine loops keep us hooked! Tech is rewiring our kids! But what does the research actually say?
It turns out, screentime isn’t addictive in the way that substances like drugs or alcohol are. But it is designed to keep us engaged. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube use variable rewards—the same psychological mechanism that makes slot machines addictive. You never know when the next scroll will bring something amazing, so you keep going.
Giggly pillows… JACKPOT
Dopamine, the so-called “pleasure chemical,” plays a role. Every time we see something we like—whether it’s a cute baby, a satisfying cleaning video, or a hilarious meme—our brain releases a small dose of dopamine. This keeps us coming back for more.
So while screentime doesn’t hijack our brains like drugs, it does create habits that can be hard to break—especially when we’re using screens as an escape, a coping mechanism, or just out of habit.
How Can We Break the Cycle? (For Parents and Kids)
Step 1: Awareness & Accountability
The first step is recognizing our own habits. Before we try to manage our kids’ screentime, we need to take a hard look at our own.
Try this experiment: For one day, log your screen time without judgment. Use your phone’s built-in screen time tracker (e.g., Screen Time on iOS, Digital Wellbeing on Android) or a third-party app. Jot down moments when you reach for your phone. Use a notes app or a physical notebook to track:
- What were you doing before?
- How were you feeling (bored, stressed, tired, etc.)?
- What app did you open, and what did you do?
End-of-day reflection: Review your log. Look for patterns in your phone use.
Step 2: Creating “Intentional Screentime”
Instead of banning screens, shift to purposeful use:
- Before opening an app, ask: What am I here for? (Inspiration, connection, learning?)
- Set a specific time limit and stick to it.
- Use your phone for something, not just on something—meaning, be intentional about how you use it.
Step 3: Modeling Healthy Use for Our Kids
Instead of enforcing rigid rules, let’s show our kids what mindful screentime looks like:
- Create screen-free zones (e.g., no phones at the dinner table).
- Be transparent about our own struggles. Let kids see that we’re working on it too.
- Tech-free rituals: Set times when the whole family disconnects—like a “sunset unplug” after dinner.
The Parenting Perspective: Should We Be Worried About Our Kids?
The fear of screentime addiction is valid, but the focus should be on healthy habits, not just limiting time. Instead of banning, we should be teaching digital literacy—helping kids recognize when they’re consuming mindlessly versus using tech with purpose. Digital literacy impacts families by shaping how they communicate, learn, and navigate the online world safely and effectively. It helps parents guide their children in responsible screen use, critical thinking, and online safety, fostering healthier digital habits. Families with strong digital literacy can better manage screen time, recognize misinformation, protect privacy, and use technology to strengthen relationships rather than create disconnection. It also equips children with essential skills for education and future careers, ensuring they engage with digital tools in a balanced and meaningful way.
Some strategies:
- Co-watch or co-play: Engage in what your kids are doing online so you can guide them.
- Encourage creative over passive use: Coding, digital art, storytelling, and content creation are all great ways to use screens productively.
- Ask questions: “Why do you like this YouTuber? What do you enjoy about this game?” Help them think critically about their screen use.
After working with many kids, they hate being manipulated. They want to feel like they are in control. So if you explain the dopamine hit cycle, they are first to want to break it. Do it together!
Final Takeaway: Rethinking Screentime for Ourselves and Our Kids
Screentime isn’t inherently bad. It’s how we use it that matters.
Instead of feeling guilty about screens, let’s focus on balance and awareness. Our kids don’t need a perfect model of tech use—they need to see us navigating it intentionally.
So next time I open Instagram, I’m going to pause and ask myself: Am I using this with intention? How do I want to feel after this?
And maybe, just maybe, I’ll stop after one baby video.
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